It's one of the names I used to give out whenever I'd get captured. It's pretty obviously not my real name, but I thought it was funny when I was a kid.
There's different fake names for different occasions, you know? I've claimed to be a Hutt, a smuggler, a Trandoshan, an Imperial officer, and every kind of trooper you can think of. Obviously it's a little difficult to claim I'm anyone other than Ezra Bridger here, though.
I don't know how much I can do beyond older Ezra, considering how many people recognize me on sight. Evil Ezra?
If no one can see me, I've got a few more options. [He pauses, before shifting into an approximation of a posh Coruscant accent] I think I've still got this? Yeah, still got it.
Come on, you’re talking to a former almost apprentice of a former Sith Lord! If there are other Ezras out there, I wouldn’t be too surprised that one of us leans more dark sidey.
Because I've been living a relatively peaceful life, but. [he shrugs] You know.
[And then realizes,]
I guess you don't, actually, since you're from before the Clone Wars. I've never really known actual peace, is the thing. The peace is harder to deal with than the emotions.
That’s something that’s hard for me to imagine. But I suppose one day it won’t be.
The Jedi have kept the peace for a thousand generations after all. There isn’t a single one of us alive at my point in time that’s ever truly known war. It’s… sad to think all of that will change.
It's all happened already, at least in my case. There's little use dwelling on it, other than to explain where I'm coming from.
If there was a war going on here, I think strangely, I'd be more at peace with myself. What that says about me is, I don't know, not great probably. But you don't feel that way, right?
But… I feel that what you just described says more about your situation than it does about you. You live in a very different galaxy from the one I’m in. And I think you’re doing the best you can with what you have.
it's more celebrations in general, you know? fancy or not so fancy
[There was never much time to celebrate things or even to get together casually. There was always another mission to plan or some sort of immediate danger. And even before that, there were a looooot of Empire Day parades on his birthday.]
but i haven't gambled in forever, so we'll see. i should probably try to keep busy myself except okay i'm only saying this because you're me and because i'm calling you out as much as i'm calling myself out and do you ever worry you're keeping busy because you have to? because it's somehow easier than standing still?
[He gets it. In fact, he even has more reasons to hate his birthday. But there's also reasons he embraced parts of this alternate life he has memories of, and good memories of celebrations, albeit small as they after were, is a big part of it.]
Maybe? I mean, I can't say it's not a valid question. Most of the time I think I'm busy because there's always things to do to try help people or get better at stuff.
I do try to do get plenty of meditation and journaling in. But is there a point where that's so routine you're just doing it because you're supposed to?
Come to think of it, I think it's been over two years since I've been what I'd call really away from people for more than a day or so.
[He's felt like Obi-Wan needed him, or Padmé, or one of the twins, or the Solos-
You don't have to be that way. Maybe less high gear is more your speed now.
But I think trying some stuff for fun/edification and seeing if it sticks probably can't hurt? I mean, that'd be my advice for nearly anyone here who's feeling a little directionless.
things have been mostly peaceful for the last few years, and they seem mostly peaceful here too.
it's less fun and betterment though and more
fighting again. before i got here, we were fighting that woman i told you about, along with some stormtroopers. and then when i got here, there was the thing with the hunt.
i'm still more comfortable with a blaster in my hands than i am at a get together. makes me think about what i'll do when i actually get back home.
I don't know if this helps, but I'd say it took me at least 6 months to get out of battle ready mode, and several of them I was completely weaponless. Thankfully Temba was almost completely peaceful. I learned a lot about agriculture, actually.
Trench wasn't as peaceful, but I still spent a lot of time thinking about Jedi vs soldier vs Ezra Bridger, citizen. And eventually I landed on - I can fight and will when I must, to defend myself and my neighbors, but I *don't* want to hold myself out as a fighter, as a main role. I could have picked what we called hunters as a profession. I probably would have, when I was younger. But that's not who I wanted to be, at least not right now.
i thought i'd gotten out of it. i've been without a weapon for much longer than that, after all. and the lightsaber i have with me here is sabine's, not mine.
but even with everything she told me about our galaxy, it felt like nothing had changed. we were still fighting the empire.
i'll have to go through all that introspection on my own, even if i land on the same answer. i just wish it wasn't so easy to slide back into the soldier mindset.
although maybe i'm ready to become a jedi mandalorian?
Hahah, maybe Din - sorry Mando, I don't think he's told anyone his name here - would adopt you into his clan. He already has a Jedi kid, although Grogu's not here.
Cobb says the Empire is gone, so I think things have changed for a lot of people. On the other hand, the future Rey is from has this 'First Order' business, so maybe things haven't changed enough. I don't know.
I think deciding who want to be here is more useful than worrying about back home though.
i won't tell him you told me, cobb said i should wait for "mando" to tell me himself. but it's weird calling him that? mandalorians are weird.
i don't know yet, though, whether it's here or home. which i guess is okay. and it's probably also okay for me to consider myself a fighter.
at least, better to accept that than to keep being afraid and worrying over what it means. we always talk about the dangers of fear as jedi, but it's more annoying than dangerous at times.
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branchandroot
Video; UN: Bisector
Date: 2023-12-07 01:00 am (UTC)So… why Jabba?
no subject
Date: 2023-12-07 01:48 am (UTC)[And apparently still thinks so.]
no subject
Date: 2023-12-07 02:06 am (UTC)You would get captured and claim to be an intergalactic gangster?
You’re rather skinny for a Hutt.
…
That is pretty funny actually.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-07 02:16 am (UTC)[he laughs as well, thank you for getting it!!!]
There's different fake names for different occasions, you know? I've claimed to be a Hutt, a smuggler, a Trandoshan, an Imperial officer, and every kind of trooper you can think of. Obviously it's a little difficult to claim I'm anyone other than Ezra Bridger here, though.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-07 02:48 am (UTC)While you’re right in that those wouldn’t quite land here, I have faith that you can come up with something that would.
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Date: 2023-12-07 03:11 am (UTC)If no one can see me, I've got a few more options. [He pauses, before shifting into an approximation of a posh Coruscant accent] I think I've still got this? Yeah, still got it.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-07 03:26 am (UTC)[Sorry Ezra you’re too nice and squishy to be evil! It’s the kind face.]
Ha. Try that one around Cobb Vanth and see how that goes.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-07 04:19 am (UTC)[As for Cobb,]
I bet he’d get a kick out of it.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-07 04:54 am (UTC)[He knows Ezra has a history but… nope. Not evil.]
That or be deeply offended. Really it could probably go either way. He doesn’t like core worlders much.
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Date: 2023-12-07 06:23 am (UTC)[Lothal and Tatooine are the handshake meme basically]
Thanks for your vote of confidence in my devotion to the light side, though, even if I'm a little disappointed you don't believe in my acting skills.
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Date: 2023-12-07 01:22 pm (UTC)[He then chuckles a little.]
It’s not so much the acting skills as I know my roommate well enough. You two are different, I know, but at your core you’re the same.
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Date: 2023-12-08 06:48 am (UTC)[He thinks he must be more intimidating now, although he doesn't try to be. At least, that is until he speaks.]
You seem to be doing better.
[A lot better, actually.]
no subject
Date: 2023-12-08 04:13 pm (UTC)[He hadn’t expected that to be brought up but perhaps he shouldn’t be surprised.]
My roommate is to thank for that. He… helped me realize a few things. It doesn’t make it better exactly but I’m more at peace.
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Date: 2023-12-13 06:23 am (UTC)[That's the version of the code Kanan taught him, at least.]
Although lately I might be more peace, yet emotion.
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Date: 2023-12-13 11:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-12-14 02:11 am (UTC)[And then realizes,]
I guess you don't, actually, since you're from before the Clone Wars. I've never really known actual peace, is the thing. The peace is harder to deal with than the emotions.
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Date: 2023-12-15 06:44 pm (UTC)The Jedi have kept the peace for a thousand generations after all. There isn’t a single one of us alive at my point in time that’s ever truly known war. It’s… sad to think all of that will change.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-16 05:18 am (UTC)If there was a war going on here, I think strangely, I'd be more at peace with myself. What that says about me is, I don't know, not great probably. But you don't feel that way, right?
no subject
Date: 2023-12-19 02:20 am (UTC)But… I feel that what you just described says more about your situation than it does about you. You live in a very different galaxy from the one I’m in. And I think you’re doing the best you can with what you have.
Text; UN; The Hutt (later on 12/7 than Obi-Wan's messge perhaps?)
Date: 2023-12-10 07:04 pm (UTC)I know the various holidays aren't ones you know, but are you coming to any of the get togethers planned?
I know you have *no* idea what I'm going on about, with that Hannukah post, but you're welcome too.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-11 03:14 am (UTC)[Still missing everyone.]
i've never really been great with parties, but i appreciate it.
how are you? seems like you're busy
no subject
Date: 2023-12-11 03:20 am (UTC)Might be some gambling with these top like things.
I am. Pretty busy. I usually stay busy. Sometimes I'm tired, but right now I'm good.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-13 06:32 am (UTC)[There was never much time to celebrate things or even to get together casually. There was always another mission to plan or some sort of immediate danger. And even before that, there were a looooot of Empire Day parades on his birthday.]
but i haven't gambled in forever, so we'll see.
i should probably try to keep busy myself
except
okay i'm only saying this because you're me and because i'm calling you out as much as i'm calling myself out and
do you ever worry you're keeping busy because you have to? because it's somehow easier than standing still?
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Date: 2023-12-13 02:57 pm (UTC)Maybe? I mean, I can't say it's not a valid question. Most of the time I think I'm busy because there's always things to do to try help people or get better at stuff.
I do try to do get plenty of meditation and journaling in. But is there a point where that's so routine you're just doing it because you're supposed to?
Come to think of it, I think it's been over two years since I've been what I'd call really away from people for more than a day or so.
[He's felt like Obi-Wan needed him, or Padmé, or one of the twins, or the Solos-
The list goes on.]
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Date: 2023-12-13 06:04 pm (UTC)and i guess it's that i feel i should be that way again? but i'm not sure how to.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-13 07:15 pm (UTC)But I think trying some stuff for fun/edification and seeing if it sticks probably can't hurt? I mean, that'd be my advice for nearly anyone here who's feeling a little directionless.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-13 07:28 pm (UTC)it's less fun and betterment though and more
fighting again. before i got here, we were fighting that woman i told you about, along with some stormtroopers. and then when i got here, there was the thing with the hunt.
i'm still more comfortable with a blaster in my hands than i am at a get together. makes me think about what i'll do when i actually get back home.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-13 07:43 pm (UTC)Trench wasn't as peaceful, but I still spent a lot of time thinking about Jedi vs soldier vs Ezra Bridger, citizen. And eventually I landed on - I can fight and will when I must, to defend myself and my neighbors, but I *don't* want to hold myself out as a fighter, as a main role. I could have picked what we called hunters as a profession. I probably would have, when I was younger. But that's not who I wanted to be, at least not right now.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-13 08:06 pm (UTC)but even with everything she told me about our galaxy, it felt like nothing had changed. we were still fighting the empire.
i'll have to go through all that introspection on my own, even if i land on the same answer. i just wish it wasn't so easy to slide back into the soldier mindset.
although maybe i'm ready to become a jedi mandalorian?
no subject
Date: 2023-12-13 08:14 pm (UTC)Cobb says the Empire is gone, so I think things have changed for a lot of people. On the other hand, the future Rey is from has this 'First Order' business, so maybe things haven't changed enough. I don't know.
I think deciding who want to be here is more useful than worrying about back home though.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-13 08:26 pm (UTC)i don't know yet, though, whether it's here or home. which i guess is okay. and it's probably also okay for me to consider myself a fighter.
at least, better to accept that than to keep being afraid and worrying over what it means. we always talk about the dangers of fear as jedi, but it's more annoying than dangerous at times.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-13 08:38 pm (UTC)Missing other versions of the people you know, possibly the most annoying.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-13 09:34 pm (UTC)he seems really grateful to have you here, especially considering what point of the timeline he's from.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-24 10:40 pm (UTC)Video;
Date: 2023-12-15 06:51 pm (UTC)I talked to my roommate and we decided to do a knighting ceremony for me. And… I would like it if you were there? If you want to be of course.
[He feels so awkward. Why is this so hard.]
no subject
Date: 2023-12-16 05:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-12-19 02:21 am (UTC)